Left Coast Cowboys

On first being asked to be Godfather and Godmother to The World’s Most Beautiful Baby, Andy and I were thrilled. Then came the fear, the doubt, the uncertainty. What exactly do Godparents do? I vaguely remember reading something about “being responsible for the child’s religious upbringing.” But isn’t that really the parents’ job? Besides, I’m an unrepentant Literature Major. The only way I could teach religion would be comparatively. And while I do have all my old college textbooks, it will be years before I can instruct Amelia May on the finer points of the original Hebrew text of the Old Testament and the more flowery King James version. Besides, if I go down that road, the next thing you know, I’ll be pointing out all the religious references in Ulysses, especially in the bar and sex scenes. Who knows where that would lead?

No, I prefer to think of Godparents as occupying somewhat the same zone as Grandparents. All the fun of childrearing with none of the real responsibility. We get to gush over her every little act without the constraint of context, reality or scale. For instance, I can show you this picture where Amelia mastered “The Smooshy Laugh”:

And I can tell you, without a hint of irony, that this is proof she qualifies for a Rhodes Scholarship.

I should also note that this amazing acheivement absolutely proves her intellectual superiority over all other babies ever born.

As Godparents, we also get to dispense sugary snacks and toys that overexcite. Then not worry about her bedtime. Because that’s the parents’ job. No, none of the hard work of parenting for us. Just the fun. Just like the time we were in Vegas and Amelia’s mom left her in my care while she ran down to the spa for a facial. Amelia had a wet diaper, but did I change it? No, that’s what hotel towels are for. Off with the diaper, wrap her in terry cloth then back to watching those cartoons.

Which brings me to the key Ultimate Godparent gift: A PONY!

Okay, maybe it's a little early for her to ride given that she hasn't learned to walk yet. So let's say Old Paint here is a starter mount.

Walking or not, she knew just what to do. She started hoisting herself right up into the saddle.

YIPPY KAY YAAAAAAAY!

And git along little dogies!

So that’s what Godparents do. Except for dispensing sage advice.

“Take the Cannoli”.

No one has yet mounted a credible challenge to my assertion that I have the world’s largest, most eclectic and eccentric Christmas music collection. So I still hold the crown, and I’m uniquely qualified to steer you away from the tried and true, the boring and overplayed to the fresh, the different and the undiscovered in holiday music. So far I brought you a cross-genre selection of undiscovered gems, a full shaker’s worth of songs for Christmas cocktails and Christmas: The Dance Edition. Today is a complete change of pace, bringing you full circle and back to the beginning. Yes, it’s religious and spiritual Christmas songs. Even if you are a professed agnostic, you can’t deny the power of the story. And c’mon, you know you get all choked up in The Charlie Brown Christmas Special when Linus recites the Bible passage about Jesus’s birth to tell Charlie Brown the meaning of Christmas. So park your skepticism. These picks aren’t your standard boring hymns. These artists sing out loud and proud and sincerely enough to get even as famous an atheist as Bill Maher testifying.

As an added bonus, each of these songs comes from an album of gems just as magnificent. Don’t stop at ten song recommendations, buy all ten CDs.

So open your mind and heart and get reacquainted with the spiritual Christmas classics — but performed better, more uniquely and in a more heart-felt manner than you’ve probably ever heard them done before:

1. Walk In Jerusalem by Mahalia Jackson from Christmas with Mahalia Jackson

Not ready to come to Jesus? Mahalia will get you there. Even Jewish and atheist friends have said her voice is powerful enough to convert. This song was also a surprise addition to my Christmas Dance Party Edition one year, because no one can get you moving like Mahalia Jackson, arguably the greatest Gospel Singer EVER. Oh, she’ll get you moving all right. Maybe swinging your hands over your head Southern Baptist style and movin’ down to the creek for a good ol’ Baptizing. Yes, she’s that powerful.

2. Shout for Joy by Odetta from Christmas Spirituals

Just an aside here, if I ever joined a church fulltime it would have to be an African American church. Hands down, they have the best music. If you don’t know the great Odetta, voice of The Civil Rights Movement and the folk singer who influenced Dylan, Baez, Carly Simon and so many others, read this and believe. Here, Odetta gives a Gospel classic a Jazzy/Bluesy turn, helped by her Bass player Bill Lee (Spike’s dad).

3. Beautiful Star of Bethlehem by Emmylou Harris from Light of the Stable

This lovely Appalachian folk carol is given a soaring treatment by Emmylou’s crystalline soprano. Pals Linda Ronstadt and Dolly Parton often show up uncredited on Emmylou’s albums and I suspect theirs are the backing and counterpoint vocals here. The fiddle, dulcimer and guitars add the perfect touch of homespun authenticity.

4. Who Kept the Sheep by Johnny Cash from The Christmas Spirit

There are only a handful of singers I can name with as authentic an American voice as Johnny Cash (and most of them appear on this list). This gentle song uses almost the tone of a children’s song to point out one of the smaller miracles of the Christmas story. Johnny softens his rough-hewn voice to ask the listener, who kept the sheep from harm when the shepherds left to witness the birth of Christ. A beautiful parable in song sung by a man with the voice of an Old Testament prophet…by way of Arkansas.

5. Hark the Herald Angels Sing by Kathleen Battle from Kathleen Battle: A Christmas Celebration

I know you’ve heard this song a million times, but you’ve NEVER heard it like this. Great coloratura soprano Kathleen Battle sings out with a full chorus and orchestra including horns that you’ll swear are being blown by those Herald Angels. In fact, I highly recommend the album this came from as a source for many wonderful Christmas songs, some are spirituals, some are well-known carols, many are from other countries. All are wonderful.

6. Gaudete by the King’s Singers from King’s Singers: A Little Christmas Music

As long as we’re getting back to fundamentals, how about a ringing carol in Latin? You won’t think it’s a dead language when you hear this great group from Cambridge England belt out this Medieval crowd pleaser, complete with the ringing trumpets of the London Sinfonia Brass Quintet. They sure knew how to get people on their feet in Merrie Olde England back in the day!

7. Hosanna in Excelsis by Placido Domingo from The Greatest Christmas Show On Earth

I probably shouldn’t even tell you that this ringing Latin number is from Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Requiem. Yes, that Andrew Lloyd Webber and, yes, I find him insufferable, too. But when I first heard this, I thought it was an undiscovered Medieval masterpiece. Maybe it’s Placido Domingo who puts it across. I can’t vouch for the rest of the Requiem. I got this off a compilation album.

8. A Star in the East by Harry Belafonte from To Wish You a Merry Christmas

I featured another song from this album, Mary’s Boy Child, on my Undiscovered Gems list. I wish I could include every song because this album is that good. Only once in a while does an artist produce a Christmas album that isn’t just a retread of a bunch of holiday numbers, but really redefines Christmas songs through their own particular musical lens. Harry Belafonte does that. Many of the songs are spirituals done with his particular Bahamian lilt. But even European standards such as Silent Night or old English carols such as “Christmas is Coming” are given such a personal stamp that, after hearing them, you’ll never think they’re done quite right when done by other artists. The song I’ve chosen here is a traditional spiritual given a bluesy, Caribbean Belafonte spin.

9. Es Hat Sich Heut Eroffnet by The Trapp Family Singers from The Sound of Christmas

Yes, that Trapp Family. They didn’t have Julie Andrews, but they did have a lovely traditional choral sound. And the Germans really gave us what we think of as Christmas when German Prince Albert brought all his traditions such as trees and Santa with him to his marriage to Queen Victoria. So the Trapps are Austrian. Close enough. It’s not really a traditional Christmas without some Germanic singing. Make those singers a famous ski lodge owning singing family and all the better. All the songs on the CD are traditional; not all of them are German. In fact, they do a beautiful version of the Spanish carol A La Nanita. After years of searching, I finally discovered this in a bargain CD bin. So good luck finding it.

10. Angels We Have Heard on High by The Brian Setzer Orchestra from Christmas Rocks!

Just because a song is about Jesus, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be able to rock out to it. Here Brian infuses a classic with that Big Band Sound, ringing Christmas bells, plus a generous dollop of Rockabilly and a full chorus. The results are magical. You’ll never want to hear this song played any other way.

Can’t find YouTube video of the song I’m recommending for this playlist. But check out how Brian Setzer rocks Christmas:

Merry Christmas, keep the faith and buy these CDs!

Painting at top of post: Titian’s Holy Family with Shepherd from the website of the National Gallery London.

It’s pouring down with the most intense tropical storm imaginable, so while I wait to find out if my snorkel trip is going to be cancelled or rescheduled, it’s a good time for a review. So here’s a recap of important things I’ve learned on this vacation:

Chill out! Eddie says the Mayan shamen assure him the world won't end in 2012.

1) Stop worrying about 2012.

Anyone who’s seen the trailer for the disaster movie is no doubt aware that the Mayan Long Count calendar ends in 2012. According to certain Hollywood producers, that means floods, planetary misalignment and a world of hurt for John Cusack. Well, my guide at the Mayan ruins of Lamanai is part Maya and he says he’s talked to contemporary Mayan shamen. They all concur that the end of the calendar just signifies the end of a religious cycle and the start of another. No calamities are predicted.

2) Speaking of the Maya, they were the fittest people in the world.

While the average Mayan must have been about 5 feet, the steps on their pyramids would be a long stretch even for an NBA player. Add that to all the canoeing the Mayans did up and down the river and these guys must have been solid muscle with lungs that never quit.

Are you as fit as a Mayan? Probably not. Bet they didn't need no steenkin' rope to race up their pyramids. And they did it in steamy jungle humidity.

3) Time is relative.

Belize Time is measured in Belize Minutes, which can be as long or as short as you want them to be. This can be useful, say, in the case of happy hour.

4) The Jaguar is the King of the Jungle, at least in this Hemisphere.

Males can weigh up to 350 lbs and grow to six feet long, excluding the tail. Only the lion and tiger are larger. The Jaguar is also the world’s largest spotted cat. While most big cats kill by severing the vertibrae in the neck, the Jaguar goes right for a head-bite and cracks the skull of its prey. Ouch. It’s believed this technique developed when much of the Jaguar’s diet came from turtles. It still hasn’t been explained to me what this magnificent animal has to do with a British luxury car.

Don't mess with the Jaguar. It has one of the strongest bites of any big cat. Photo: MarcusObal, Wikipedia.

5) It doesn’t matter if it rains on your Belize vacation.

You are going to be wet even in the dry season. Wet with sweat that is, the minute you get 50 yards off the beach and back into steamy tropical weather. Since we’re here at the tail-end of the rainy season, we’ve had drenching downpours every day. They last about ten minutes, then the sun is so hot it completely dries you out. Until you are drenched with sweat again. You really start to look forward to the rain.

6) It is possible to create country-wide support for environmentalism.

Somehow the Belizeans managed to do it. And it’s not just government policy. Every tour-guide preaches respect for Belize’s environment, there’s hardly a speck of trash to be seen anywhere (unlike most of the Caribbean which has always featured large landfills just outside of tourist areas), and many environmental programs are community, rather than government, sponsored. One such program is the Community Baboon Sanctuary which started as a joint grassroots project between landowners and communities. Only after self-policing conservation policies were enacted and innovative programs such as the building of “baboon bridges” to let the animals safely cross roadways did the government step in and make it official. And you’ve got to love a country where the Audubon Society is one of the power brokers.

All the good stuff is near the surface in Belize. No need to be certified.

7) Snorkelers are at no disadvantage in Belize

Sure you can’t snorkel the Blue Hole, but I’m questioning how much fun it is to spend a whole dive getting down to a huge pressure zone only to turn right around and start the slow process of ascending and decompressing. Many of the best coral formations are in areas less than 30 feet deep. If you are snorkeling on the surface, you can see everything the divers can see. Probably better. So who needs to strap on all the equipment and fuss with regulators. Plus, you get to stay well above the nurse sharks.

8 ) Nurse Sharks, harmless? Depends how you define that term.

Everyone around here always says that the abundant nurse sharks are harmless. And there don’t seem to be any attacks or bites that I’ve heard about. Still, the nurse shark feeds on crustaceans and shellfish and has jaws strong enough to crush them. So while nurse sharks are said to be safe “unless provoked”, I’m not going to test at which stage a nurse shark might feel provoked.

9) Ambergris Caye claims to be La Isla Bonita of Madonna video fame.

The lyrics do mention a tropical island and San Pedro, which is the only town on the Caye. So Ambergris has as good a claim to it as anyplace. However, I’ve been all through the town (there are only about four streets) and haven’t once seen anyone in a red flamenco dress or any little mermaid boys cavorting off the beach.

You can see and feel the storms coming here. They are fast, somewhat scary, but usually short-lived.

10) Belize is the Best!

I’ve been to my share of Caribbean destinations: the Windward Islands of St. Lucia, St. Vincent and Grenada; the Leeward Islands of Anguilla, St. Barth’s, St. Martin & Antigua; as well as the Cayman Islands. I’d have to say Belize is my favorite Caribbean destination, edging out my former favorite, Grenada.  Both Grenada and Belize have some of the same high scores on my Caribbeo Meter: lots of varied terrain, nice beaches, interesting culture, friendly people and lack of high-rise hotels and mass tourism. Both countries let you experience everything from the beach to rainforests to traditional cutlures. On our last trip to Belize, we stayed mostly in an eco-lodge up in the jungle highlands (the excellent Lodge at Chaa Creek) with a short few days jaunt down to the beaches. This time, we parked ourselves on the Caye and I made a day trip to the jungle. In a country the size of New Hampshire, seeing everything is pretty easy. Belize has also edged ahead of Grenada due to their commitment to eco-tourism and environmental stewardship. And the friendliness of Grenadans notwithstanding, I think the Belizeans have them beat in their constantly upbeat and friendly attitudes. Then there are all those Mayan ruins.

Go Belize. And go to Belize!

I’m not someone who can lie around a beach for too long. After a few days, I need to get out and explore the country. I’m a veteran of a few Belizean jungle trips. They are never exactly easy or comfortable, but you can’t leave the country without doing it. So I signed myself up with Searious Adventures for a day trip to the Mayan ruins at Lamanai, notable as the only Mayan city state that was still in operation when the Spanish showed up, probably due to its strategic location on a navigable freshwater river. Of course, the Spanish immediately built a church here, which the Maya burned, then forcing the padres to watch a mock Eucharist using corn tortillas, after which they roughed them up and sent them packing. Disease later devastated even these Maya, the British chased out the remaining groups in order to clear for sugar cane and Lamanai was taken over by jungle. That’s largely how you’ll see it now. Unlike Tikal, which has been extensively cleared and gives you a good idea how a Maya city originally looked, Lamanai is mostly overgrown. You travel from excavated building to building through narrow jungle paths. Suddenly, you come out to a clearing and a temple. Since this is not the well traveled site that Tikal is, we were the only visitors save for a group of archeologists working on some of the giant stone heads. It was a dreamy, somewhat eery Indiana Jones sort of experience. We even had a surprise appearance by the elusive and endangered Gibnut, a terrier sized guinea pig.

At overgrown Lamanai, you travel through narrow jungle passages between temples. We didn't even know it was pouring until we came out from under the canopy.

Braver souls than me climbed all the way to the top. A heavy camera bag and slick wet steps made me stop at halfway.

Stylized jaguar head on the Jaguar Temple.

But getting there is half the adventure and takes you through the full spectrum of Belize topography and society — at least if you start from one of the Cayes. It helps to have a great tour operation. And we did. We started with two cute and personable Creoles, Andre and Wayne. The boat trip over to the mainland, Andre assured us, would be “Sixty Belize Minutes”, which I guess meant those sixty minutes would be stretched to however long we wanted it to be. We made it in about that time, even though Andre made sure to take us by every site of interest including Caye Caulker, which served as a boat yard from pirate times, but now is largely a reserve, to a privately-owned caye that boasts an airstrip and a full golf course. Their commentary included not just historical information, but often colorful descriptions of Belizean life (perhaps making this not a tour for young children.)

Wayne and Andre kept up a running and hilarious commentary for the whole trip. Loved their matching do-rags.

We entered the Belize River which is just north of the country’s biggest population center, Belize City. You’d never know it. Less than a half mile up the river, we were cruising through jungle and mangrove swamps, without a building, person or floating styrofoam container in sight. (In fact, unlike most of the Caribbean, Belize is remarkably clean and litter free. The Belizeans take great pride, and derive a lot of income from Eco-tourism, so they actively protect their environment.)

We traveled up the sugar cane highway Belizean style.

The next stage of the journey was a switch to a bus for a ride up the New Highway, which largely serves as a conduit for the sugar cane traffic. The part of the group that was going cave tubing and zip lining got into air conditioned minivans. Those of us heading for our Mayan adventure took more traditional transportation.

Far upcountry in sugar cane country, we switched to a small river skiff at The New River which is actually the ancient waterway the Maya used. Eddie, our pilot, is a part Maya mestizo who knew all the birds of Belize and could seemingly spot them from a hundred yards. We pulled up close to dozens of birds, iguanas, and even a troop of playful monkeys.

The boldest of a troop of monkeys we saw swinging from the trees.

It's iguana mating season when the males, like this one, turn bright red. The smaller green females are considered good eating and are called "bamboo chicken".

As a veteran of several of these kinds of jungle trips, I have to warn that they aren’t always comfortable. But perhaps that’s half the charm of them. We had a few bucketing rain storms that lasted for a few minutes, then cleared. This became even more of a Belizean experience when the Bimini top on the boat snapped in the wind. This could have been a nightmare with a whiny group. But in the face of Wayne and Eddie’s enthusiasm, everyone got into the spirit of the thing. Besides, we really got a sense of what it was like to be a Maya paddling up the jungle river to Lamanai.

Every Belizean will remind you that the Maya never left. About 11% of Belizeans are full blooded Maya, many living traditionally.

A Mayan fisherman shows us his catch which he got using just a string and a piece of bait.

The long journey back could have been boring, but was another kind of experience with Wayne mixing excellent (and very strong) rum punches on the boat and the bus. All while teaching us Criol phrases and keeping up a running commentary on Belize, local customs, politics and his love life — every sentence punctuated with “ya Mon”. Back at the Belize River, we joined the other group and Andre took the wheel, setting what must have been a new record for the Belize City to Ambergris run.

So all in all, a jungle and ruins trip is highly recommended, even if you are on a beach vacation. It’s probably not for the kids. You might want to take them to Altun Ha which is a closer shorter tour. But to really get a Mayan experience, you couldn’t do better than the excellent Searious Adventures. Did I mention the food? A Belizean breakfast and lunch are included and were some of the best meals I’ve had this vacation. But then again, Wayne was pouring those rum punches. Ya Mon!

More pictures of the trip here. However, they aren’t my best. Between bouncing around in boats and buses and shielding my camera from intermittent showers, I only took quick snaps.

Andy Palacio and the Garifuna Collective deserve to be the next breakout stars along the lines of the Buena Vista Social Club. But maybe they already are. His highly acclaimed Wátina CD went to Number One on the world charts and resulted in Palacio being named a UNESCO Artist for Peace, for his efforts to preserve and promote the unique Garifuna culture. Maybe everyone knows about Andy Palacio. Certainly everyone in Belize does. His music is on the sound system in every shop and is piped into the streets near every restaurant and bar. So I could be late to the party.

The Garifuna, also sometimes called the Black Caribs, are the descendants of escaped African slaves and the Carib and Arawak Indians who welcomed them into their tribes starting in the late 1600s. When the British began consolidating power in the Caribbean, they rounded up the Garifuna from their traditional stronghold in St. Vincent and shipped them to a small island off the coast of Belize. In a scenario reminiscent of the Cherokee’s Trail of Tears, more than half the population died in the removal. But roughly 3000 survived and began settlements in Belize, Guatemala and Nicaragua where they preserved their unique blend of West African and Caribbean music, language and traditions. In recent decades, their culture has become assimilated so that only isolated pockets of the Garifuna survived intact.

Belize is the home of the strongest, most intact Garifuna culture. Even moreso now, thanks to Andy Palacio.

Enter musician Andy Palacio. Born into the thriving Garifuna community of Barranco, Belize, Garifuna was his first language and the main influence on his music as he developed a career in more mainstream Caribbean dance music. While traveling in Nicaragua, Palacio met an old Garifuna man who started weeping when Palacio addressed him in their native language. The man had never met a young Garifuna speaker and thought that his language would die with him. At that point, Palacio determined to preserve and promote Garifuna culture through his music.

The apex of this mission was the Wátina CD, where Palacio gathered the best Garifuna musicians in a collaborative album. Although the songs are contemporary, most written by Palacio, they speak to the Garifuna experience and showcase traditional Garifuna instruments and musical forms.

Sadly, Palacio died of a major stroke in 2008 at the young age of 47, at the peak of his international fame. But apparently, he sparked a major revival and recognition of Garifuna music which has been picked up by a number of other Garifuna groups.

Give a listen. I think you’ll enjoy. (Both Amazon and iTunes have the CD.) For more upbeat and dance-oriented versions of Garifuna music, look up Punta Rock.

Here’s a wonderful mini-feature on Garifuna culture and the making of the Watina CD.