The Princess Diaries: Amelia May at Four
It’s all about the Princesses. Completely about Princesses. I’m clearly not keeping up because I thought we were still at the puppy stage or maybe the Wizard of Oz stage. So when I showed up for my Goddaughter’s fourth birthday party with a Victorian puppy ABC book, it lost badly to a Princess Castle Legos set. You really need to keep up on these things. Apparently Princesses rule. Princesses are everywhere in Amelia May’s world and you’d better get with the program. Within a few minutes of arriving, Amelia informed me that I would be Snow White; Michelle, another guest would be Belle; Amelia would be Cinderella and Amelia’s mother would be Princess Mommy. We all donned crowns. (Luckily Amelia has a large collection — as any Princess worth her tiara would.) I should just note that when Amelia is not being Cinderella or Belle or Ariel or any other Disney type princess, she will have you know that she can be addressed as Princess Amelia May. Please bow now.
I wish I could say I got loads of pictures of the momentus occasion of this landmark Princess birthday. But like all self-respecting princesses, Amelia May has decided she will not countenance paparazzi. In fact she told me it wasn’t allowed to photograph Princesses.
I needed to investigate this Princess thing further. And to my surprise, Amelia May told me that any girl could be a Princess. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t rules. There are rules. Very strict Princess Rules. Amelia May outlined them for me:
1. A Princess doesn’t scream.
2. A Princess doesn’t fight.
3. A Princess doesn’t call firemen.
Now this one needed more explanation since Amelia May’s Uncle Gavin is a member of the London Fire Brigade. Why can’t Princesses call firemen? What if their castles are on fire? Princess Mommy explained it all. Apparently, Amelia May is fascinated by the fire call buttons in elevators. And those are the places where Princesses mustn’t call firemen. I’m assuming there are other situations where it is perfectly within protocol for Princesses to call firemen.
Then there was the last important rule for which we’ve been given no explanation.
4. A Princess doesn’t put cheese in her pockets.
But who am I, a mere commoner, to question the strict rules that Princesses live by?
Happy Fourth Birthday Princes Amelia May. We, your loyal subjects, salute you.