trueblood-wideOnce again, I’ve been derailed from my blogging. I hate giving more excuses, but my Facebook peeps will know something about the drama I’ve been dealing with. Suffice it to say I have a vineyard employee, whose performance has been deteriorating as rapidly as the frequency of my “calibration” talks with him have been escalating. My management style tends to lean toward calm, reasoning discussions involving goals and expectations. With some people — especially people who aren’t really listeners or who equate anger with volume, as in “Well, she’s speaking very quietly, so she’s not really mad”– this isn’t always effective. So I determined to give him a final talk with my version of a short sharp slap. When you start the morning telling a problem employee that you are putting him on four day suspension and you end the day talking with the County Sheriff about the advisability of a restraining order, you probably have to conclude that your meeting didn’t go very well.

Not that we are going to rehash any of that here. But the whole incident did get me thinking about drama. Or DRAMA! I love mine on cable TV, thank you very much, not in my daily life. I certainly don’t want suddenly to find myself in the middle of a Sonoma version of one of those low-rent TV reality series like COPS or First 48. If I have to deal with perps — at least let me be Olivia Benson. Better yet, let my DRAMA be from a prestige network like HBO. Let’s say True Blood. Yeah, in my DRAMA, I should be a vampire. I’m actually not that interested in the blood drinking or the burning up in the sun part. We’ll skip that. Maybe we can substitute Mourvedre, Grenache or Cabernet for blood. And we’ll be able to walk around in the day. But we do want all those vampire super-powers, like immense strength and flying and the ability to “glamour” people into doing what we want.

I say "we" because, of course, in my DRAMA, the terriers will be vampires as well.

I say “we” because, of course, in my DRAMA, the terriers will be vampires as well.

Because can you imagine a smackdown encounter between snarling, flying vampire terriers? It would sort of be like...well...any day.

Because can you imagine a smackdown encounter between snarling, flying vampire terriers? It would sort of be like…well…any day.

As for that "glamouring" thing? You know, where the vampire stares in your eyes and compels you to do something? Well, terriers are already masters of that.

As for that “glamouring” thing? You know, where the vampire stares in your eyes and compels you to do something? Well, terriers are already masters of that.

So I’m putting the world on notice. The next time I’m thrown into DRAMA, it better be an Alan Ball Production. I better be able to fly and have super-human strength.

And this guy better be my new ranch hand.

And this guy better be my new ranch hand.

We'll take some of those werewolves and shifters, too. They'd fit right in with the coyotes, foxes and the mountain lion.

We’ll take some of those werewolves and shifters, too. They’d fit right in with the coyotes, foxes and the mountain lion.

So c’mon Life. The next time you decide to serve me DRAMA, you’ve got my script. Me and the terriers, we’re ready for our close-ups.

 

 

 

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