Left Coast Cowboys

It’s pouring down with the most intense tropical storm imaginable, so while I wait to find out if my snorkel trip is going to be cancelled or rescheduled, it’s a good time for a review. So here’s a recap of important things I’ve learned on this vacation:

Chill out! Eddie says the Mayan shamen assure him the world won't end in 2012.

1) Stop worrying about 2012.

Anyone who’s seen the trailer for the disaster movie is no doubt aware that the Mayan Long Count calendar ends in 2012. According to certain Hollywood producers, that means floods, planetary misalignment and a world of hurt for John Cusack. Well, my guide at the Mayan ruins of Lamanai is part Maya and he says he’s talked to contemporary Mayan shamen. They all concur that the end of the calendar just signifies the end of a religious cycle and the start of another. No calamities are predicted.

2) Speaking of the Maya, they were the fittest people in the world.

While the average Mayan must have been about 5 feet, the steps on their pyramids would be a long stretch even for an NBA player. Add that to all the canoeing the Mayans did up and down the river and these guys must have been solid muscle with lungs that never quit.

Are you as fit as a Mayan? Probably not. Bet they didn't need no steenkin' rope to race up their pyramids. And they did it in steamy jungle humidity.

3) Time is relative.

Belize Time is measured in Belize Minutes, which can be as long or as short as you want them to be. This can be useful, say, in the case of happy hour.

4) The Jaguar is the King of the Jungle, at least in this Hemisphere.

Males can weigh up to 350 lbs and grow to six feet long, excluding the tail. Only the lion and tiger are larger. The Jaguar is also the world’s largest spotted cat. While most big cats kill by severing the vertibrae in the neck, the Jaguar goes right for a head-bite and cracks the skull of its prey. Ouch. It’s believed this technique developed when much of the Jaguar’s diet came from turtles. It still hasn’t been explained to me what this magnificent animal has to do with a British luxury car.

Don't mess with the Jaguar. It has one of the strongest bites of any big cat. Photo: MarcusObal, Wikipedia.

5) It doesn’t matter if it rains on your Belize vacation.

You are going to be wet even in the dry season. Wet with sweat that is, the minute you get 50 yards off the beach and back into steamy tropical weather. Since we’re here at the tail-end of the rainy season, we’ve had drenching downpours every day. They last about ten minutes, then the sun is so hot it completely dries you out. Until you are drenched with sweat again. You really start to look forward to the rain.

6) It is possible to create country-wide support for environmentalism.

Somehow the Belizeans managed to do it. And it’s not just government policy. Every tour-guide preaches respect for Belize’s environment, there’s hardly a speck of trash to be seen anywhere (unlike most of the Caribbean which has always featured large landfills just outside of tourist areas), and many environmental programs are community, rather than government, sponsored. One such program is the Community Baboon Sanctuary which started as a joint grassroots project between landowners and communities. Only after self-policing conservation policies were enacted and innovative programs such as the building of “baboon bridges” to let the animals safely cross roadways did the government step in and make it official. And you’ve got to love a country where the Audubon Society is one of the power brokers.

All the good stuff is near the surface in Belize. No need to be certified.

7) Snorkelers are at no disadvantage in Belize

Sure you can’t snorkel the Blue Hole, but I’m questioning how much fun it is to spend a whole dive getting down to a huge pressure zone only to turn right around and start the slow process of ascending and decompressing. Many of the best coral formations are in areas less than 30 feet deep. If you are snorkeling on the surface, you can see everything the divers can see. Probably better. So who needs to strap on all the equipment and fuss with regulators. Plus, you get to stay well above the nurse sharks.

8 ) Nurse Sharks, harmless? Depends how you define that term.

Everyone around here always says that the abundant nurse sharks are harmless. And there don’t seem to be any attacks or bites that I’ve heard about. Still, the nurse shark feeds on crustaceans and shellfish and has jaws strong enough to crush them. So while nurse sharks are said to be safe “unless provoked”, I’m not going to test at which stage a nurse shark might feel provoked.

9) Ambergris Caye claims to be La Isla Bonita of Madonna video fame.

The lyrics do mention a tropical island and San Pedro, which is the only town on the Caye. So Ambergris has as good a claim to it as anyplace. However, I’ve been all through the town (there are only about four streets) and haven’t once seen anyone in a red flamenco dress or any little mermaid boys cavorting off the beach.

You can see and feel the storms coming here. They are fast, somewhat scary, but usually short-lived.

10) Belize is the Best!

I’ve been to my share of Caribbean destinations: the Windward Islands of St. Lucia, St. Vincent and Grenada; the Leeward Islands of Anguilla, St. Barth’s, St. Martin & Antigua; as well as the Cayman Islands. I’d have to say Belize is my favorite Caribbean destination, edging out my former favorite, Grenada.  Both Grenada and Belize have some of the same high scores on my Caribbeo Meter: lots of varied terrain, nice beaches, interesting culture, friendly people and lack of high-rise hotels and mass tourism. Both countries let you experience everything from the beach to rainforests to traditional cutlures. On our last trip to Belize, we stayed mostly in an eco-lodge up in the jungle highlands (the excellent Lodge at Chaa Creek) with a short few days jaunt down to the beaches. This time, we parked ourselves on the Caye and I made a day trip to the jungle. In a country the size of New Hampshire, seeing everything is pretty easy. Belize has also edged ahead of Grenada due to their commitment to eco-tourism and environmental stewardship. And the friendliness of Grenadans notwithstanding, I think the Belizeans have them beat in their constantly upbeat and friendly attitudes. Then there are all those Mayan ruins.

Go Belize. And go to Belize!

I’m not someone who can lie around a beach for too long. After a few days, I need to get out and explore the country. I’m a veteran of a few Belizean jungle trips. They are never exactly easy or comfortable, but you can’t leave the country without doing it. So I signed myself up with Searious Adventures for a day trip to the Mayan ruins at Lamanai, notable as the only Mayan city state that was still in operation when the Spanish showed up, probably due to its strategic location on a navigable freshwater river. Of course, the Spanish immediately built a church here, which the Maya burned, then forcing the padres to watch a mock Eucharist using corn tortillas, after which they roughed them up and sent them packing. Disease later devastated even these Maya, the British chased out the remaining groups in order to clear for sugar cane and Lamanai was taken over by jungle. That’s largely how you’ll see it now. Unlike Tikal, which has been extensively cleared and gives you a good idea how a Maya city originally looked, Lamanai is mostly overgrown. You travel from excavated building to building through narrow jungle paths. Suddenly, you come out to a clearing and a temple. Since this is not the well traveled site that Tikal is, we were the only visitors save for a group of archeologists working on some of the giant stone heads. It was a dreamy, somewhat eery Indiana Jones sort of experience. We even had a surprise appearance by the elusive and endangered Gibnut, a terrier sized guinea pig.

At overgrown Lamanai, you travel through narrow jungle passages between temples. We didn't even know it was pouring until we came out from under the canopy.

Braver souls than me climbed all the way to the top. A heavy camera bag and slick wet steps made me stop at halfway.

Stylized jaguar head on the Jaguar Temple.

But getting there is half the adventure and takes you through the full spectrum of Belize topography and society — at least if you start from one of the Cayes. It helps to have a great tour operation. And we did. We started with two cute and personable Creoles, Andre and Wayne. The boat trip over to the mainland, Andre assured us, would be “Sixty Belize Minutes”, which I guess meant those sixty minutes would be stretched to however long we wanted it to be. We made it in about that time, even though Andre made sure to take us by every site of interest including Caye Caulker, which served as a boat yard from pirate times, but now is largely a reserve, to a privately-owned caye that boasts an airstrip and a full golf course. Their commentary included not just historical information, but often colorful descriptions of Belizean life (perhaps making this not a tour for young children.)

Wayne and Andre kept up a running and hilarious commentary for the whole trip. Loved their matching do-rags.

We entered the Belize River which is just north of the country’s biggest population center, Belize City. You’d never know it. Less than a half mile up the river, we were cruising through jungle and mangrove swamps, without a building, person or floating styrofoam container in sight. (In fact, unlike most of the Caribbean, Belize is remarkably clean and litter free. The Belizeans take great pride, and derive a lot of income from Eco-tourism, so they actively protect their environment.)

We traveled up the sugar cane highway Belizean style.

The next stage of the journey was a switch to a bus for a ride up the New Highway, which largely serves as a conduit for the sugar cane traffic. The part of the group that was going cave tubing and zip lining got into air conditioned minivans. Those of us heading for our Mayan adventure took more traditional transportation.

Far upcountry in sugar cane country, we switched to a small river skiff at The New River which is actually the ancient waterway the Maya used. Eddie, our pilot, is a part Maya mestizo who knew all the birds of Belize and could seemingly spot them from a hundred yards. We pulled up close to dozens of birds, iguanas, and even a troop of playful monkeys.

The boldest of a troop of monkeys we saw swinging from the trees.

It's iguana mating season when the males, like this one, turn bright red. The smaller green females are considered good eating and are called "bamboo chicken".

As a veteran of several of these kinds of jungle trips, I have to warn that they aren’t always comfortable. But perhaps that’s half the charm of them. We had a few bucketing rain storms that lasted for a few minutes, then cleared. This became even more of a Belizean experience when the Bimini top on the boat snapped in the wind. This could have been a nightmare with a whiny group. But in the face of Wayne and Eddie’s enthusiasm, everyone got into the spirit of the thing. Besides, we really got a sense of what it was like to be a Maya paddling up the jungle river to Lamanai.

Every Belizean will remind you that the Maya never left. About 11% of Belizeans are full blooded Maya, many living traditionally.

A Mayan fisherman shows us his catch which he got using just a string and a piece of bait.

The long journey back could have been boring, but was another kind of experience with Wayne mixing excellent (and very strong) rum punches on the boat and the bus. All while teaching us Criol phrases and keeping up a running commentary on Belize, local customs, politics and his love life — every sentence punctuated with “ya Mon”. Back at the Belize River, we joined the other group and Andre took the wheel, setting what must have been a new record for the Belize City to Ambergris run.

So all in all, a jungle and ruins trip is highly recommended, even if you are on a beach vacation. It’s probably not for the kids. You might want to take them to Altun Ha which is a closer shorter tour. But to really get a Mayan experience, you couldn’t do better than the excellent Searious Adventures. Did I mention the food? A Belizean breakfast and lunch are included and were some of the best meals I’ve had this vacation. But then again, Wayne was pouring those rum punches. Ya Mon!

More pictures of the trip here. However, they aren’t my best. Between bouncing around in boats and buses and shielding my camera from intermittent showers, I only took quick snaps.

Andy Palacio and the Garifuna Collective deserve to be the next breakout stars along the lines of the Buena Vista Social Club. But maybe they already are. His highly acclaimed Wátina CD went to Number One on the world charts and resulted in Palacio being named a UNESCO Artist for Peace, for his efforts to preserve and promote the unique Garifuna culture. Maybe everyone knows about Andy Palacio. Certainly everyone in Belize does. His music is on the sound system in every shop and is piped into the streets near every restaurant and bar. So I could be late to the party.

The Garifuna, also sometimes called the Black Caribs, are the descendants of escaped African slaves and the Carib and Arawak Indians who welcomed them into their tribes starting in the late 1600s. When the British began consolidating power in the Caribbean, they rounded up the Garifuna from their traditional stronghold in St. Vincent and shipped them to a small island off the coast of Belize. In a scenario reminiscent of the Cherokee’s Trail of Tears, more than half the population died in the removal. But roughly 3000 survived and began settlements in Belize, Guatemala and Nicaragua where they preserved their unique blend of West African and Caribbean music, language and traditions. In recent decades, their culture has become assimilated so that only isolated pockets of the Garifuna survived intact.

Belize is the home of the strongest, most intact Garifuna culture. Even moreso now, thanks to Andy Palacio.

Enter musician Andy Palacio. Born into the thriving Garifuna community of Barranco, Belize, Garifuna was his first language and the main influence on his music as he developed a career in more mainstream Caribbean dance music. While traveling in Nicaragua, Palacio met an old Garifuna man who started weeping when Palacio addressed him in their native language. The man had never met a young Garifuna speaker and thought that his language would die with him. At that point, Palacio determined to preserve and promote Garifuna culture through his music.

The apex of this mission was the Wátina CD, where Palacio gathered the best Garifuna musicians in a collaborative album. Although the songs are contemporary, most written by Palacio, they speak to the Garifuna experience and showcase traditional Garifuna instruments and musical forms.

Sadly, Palacio died of a major stroke in 2008 at the young age of 47, at the peak of his international fame. But apparently, he sparked a major revival and recognition of Garifuna music which has been picked up by a number of other Garifuna groups.

Give a listen. I think you’ll enjoy. (Both Amazon and iTunes have the CD.) For more upbeat and dance-oriented versions of Garifuna music, look up Punta Rock.

Here’s a wonderful mini-feature on Garifuna culture and the making of the Watina CD.

Today was spent on Belize’s reef, specifically at the Hol Chan Marine Reserve. In this one shallow area of the reef, near a cut that leads out to the wider ocean, are a variety of ecosytems, from coral forests to sea grass fields. The result is a congregation on any given day of at least 80% of the acquatic species native to the Caribbean. Compared to Australia’s Barrier Reef, which is suffering from a starfish invasion and coral bleaching, the reef here is in prime health.

But rather than tell you, let me show you. Hang in there to the end of the video to see Andy holding and petting a friendly nurse shark!

At Hol Chan Marine Reserve

Nothing brings into sharp relief how different the English are from the Americans than a vacation. There is a certain kind of American who immediately, upon traveling to someplace new, wants to get immersed into the culture, no matter how messy or inconvenient. I am that American. Our first trip to Belize was spent mostly in an Eco-Lodge (the fabulous Lodge at Chaa Creek) high in the Mayan Highlands — visiting Mayan ruins, taking horseback trips through the jungle and listening to nature lectures. Or as Andy describes it: that time I made him spend his vacation hacking through the jungle with a machete.

Then there is the style of travel perfected by a certain kind of Englishman. These are the Englishmen that succeeded in colonizing most of the known world by introducing trains, Parliamentary government and a good gin and tonic served at all civilized hours of the day. Andy is that kind of Englishman. This sort of English traveler has only two vacation fears: a) that they may be forced to rub shoulders too closely with Johnny Foreigner and b) that Germans will appear in the early hours of the morning at any seaside resort and reserve all the good deck chairs by throwing their towels over them. Andy is that kind of Englishman.

This Belize trip is Andy’s kind of trip. We’re parked at Victoria House, the best resort on Ambergris Caye and the main activity is diving, including one of the best diving spots in the world, according to Jacques Cousteau, the famed Blue Hole. Still, I couldn’t resist looking out for a little local color. So we rented a golf cart (the only vehicle allowed on the island) and headed to San Pedro, the only town.

Andy's trying to convince me that this Jaguar died of old age, or was roadkill, or was shot by mistake by a senile park ranger.

Did I mention there is another characteristic of a certain kind of Englishman? That is the desire to seek out rare species of animal, marvel at them and remove parts of their bodies to decorate the country house.

So while I was in a little art gallery contemplating whether to buy a Guatemalan painting or a mask carved out of a cocoanut husk, Andy found a street vendor selling necklaces made of Jaguar teeth.

Me: “You can’t buy that. Jaguars are endangered. And they are protected in Belize. You would be encouraging poaching.”

Andy: “No, the vendor says this Jaguar was roadkill. Probably run over by a ranger in the forest reserve.”

Me: “A likely story. The best we can hope for is that it’s a fake.”

Andy: “It also has decorations of shark’s vertebrae.”

Me: “Great, so it’s an Endangered Species Two-Fer.”

Andy: “Look, I’m supporting the indigenous culture. Mayan priests wore Jaguar’s teeth necklaces. Why can’t I?”

(You have to give up at this point. And based on the price, I’m sure the tooth is a fake.)

But I was hypervigilant when Andy started eying any other wildlife. The amazing Frigate Birds were hovering over the resort, hanging completely motionless in the air. When Andy remarked how easy they would be to shoot, I quickly told him that any murdered Frigate Bird would be instantly tied around his neck like in The Rime of the Ancient Mariner. Nothing like referencing an epic poem by an English opium smoker to shut down a Brit’s hunting instincts.

The amazing Frigate Birds who spend most of their lives aloft. Sailors used to tell weather patterns by their flight.

And speaking of the intersection of Englishmen and wildlife, there is another kind of Englishman. One who sees all vacations as an opportunity to drink as much and behave as badly as possible. Andy is not that kind of Englishman. But as we finished dinner at Fido’s under one of the largest thatched roofs in the Caribbean, a posse of drunk English people came in and started screaming.

The local band, which was just warming up, was clearly experienced in dealing with such invasions. As the rest of the band continued setting up, the guitarist launched into an accoustic version of Oasis’s “Champagne Supernova”. Which immediately got the crowd maudlin and crying. Nothing like the oikiest song of the most loutish of English bands to pacify wild herds of Englishmen.

Just when we thought it was safe, the crowd started screaming for Folsom Prison Blues.

Even for this mixed marriage, that’s just too much of a culture clash. We escaped into the night before the singer could finish:

“I hear that train a comin’”

Photos of Day Two here.