Left Coast Cowboys

Mark Twain said: “Everyone complains about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.” Good point. And I wish someone had taken action on this terrible season back in May when it just wouldn’t warm up and wouldn’t stop raining. With a few scattered periods of hot, hot weather, it’s been mostly cooler and wetter than a normal season in Sonoma. And that’s not good for the grapes. Now we have word that a huge storm is going to sweep in Monday, dropping so much rain, it will put an early end to fire season. Which is a good thing for the brush. But not necessarily a good thing for ripening grapes which might start sprouting mold. John the Baptist and Louis are already putting out straw bales to brace for what they are saying will be a big one.

Meanwhile crews have been lined up for 7:30 Sunday to bring in all our Mourvedre and Grenache — even though they haven’t reached the optimum Brix level. With the Cinsault already processed, that will leave only Cabernet out in the field. But our vineyard consultant says Cabernet can pretty much stand up to anything.

While a crew of professional Mexican grape pickers will have no problem bringing in our grapes in a few hours (our vineyard will be a “little earner” for them between “real” jobs), Andy and I have never tried to process this many grapes by ourselves before. I think we have more than two tons out there. And with our sophisticated processing system, that means I sit on the concrete wall above the crush pad and drop grapes bunch by bunch into the crusher/destemmer. So I, in effect, will be “repicking” two tons of grapes. Andy, of course, handles the complicated task of turning the machinery off and on. It’s going to be interesting. And may end with me developing Pop-Eye arms. Instead of Lucille Ball’s comic timing.

Various Unrelated Notes

Chuck the Buck is back in a big way. In fact, I think our wacky weather and the presence of a full moon has brought on an early mating season. Apparently, male deer, at that time, can be very aggressive and fearless. Little Oscar found this out when he went running up to bark at Chuck who has taken to hanging out very close to the barn. The big buck just lowered his horns menacingly. Little Oscar scampered down the hill. Oh, he’s very brave dragging a deer carcass around that the coyotes have killed. But he’s not about to tangle with this.

Chuck the Buck is back. His rack is as impressive as ever. And he's not taking sh*t from anyone. Especially small yappy terriers.

The coyotes are back! Wiley, Wilma and two or three young’uns. John the Baptist and Louis saw them frolicking around the barn a few days ago. Like Chuck the Buck, they showed no interest in running off. As do most of the critters around here, they’re pretty much convinced they own the place.

Our coyotes look like this. Not scrawny, but fat and sassy as German Shephards. This photo from this site: http://www.plumas-eureka.org/mammals.html

Even if my grapes aren’t ripening as fast as I’d like, my prickly pear cactus is. John the Baptist brought in one of the fruits and showed me how to peel one and eat the fruit.

Tastes surprisingly like...pomegranate.

First the good news: the deer are back at Two Terrier Vineyards. Which most people in Sonoma would think we were crazy to celebrate. Drive around here and you’ll see most places completely fenced in from the deer. The local hardware store does a brisk business in deer repellant, especially the faux coyote wee that’s marketed under the name “Not Tonight, Deer”. We gave in and fenced the vineyards, since it would only take three hungry deer to strip all our vines. But otherwise, we’re actively trying to attract them. We built a little pond and waterfall to give them water during the dry months and I’m thinking of giving them a salt lick. They faded away into the adjacent State Park recently since John the Baptist has been here with a chainsaw cutting brush. But recently, we’ve seen Chuck the Buck (that’s him at the top of the post) as well as his harem of does hanging around the wine cave and crush pad. That’s no coincidence. Every year after we’ve crushed and pressed, I’ve taken the pressed skins (which, after they’re removed from the press, resemble a very rich Christmas fruitcake) and thrown them over the side of the hill for the deer. They love it! And they’re sensing that the crush is just around the corner, so they’re already lining up.

Not my pic! This is from Corbis Images and looks disturbingly like a stuffed coyote. Mine are just this fat, but considerably more lively.

Which brings me to the next class of critter — or varmint, depending on your point of view. Also back in force are our coyotes. I’ve never managed to get a picture of one — not that they seem all that scared of me. When we were still spending weekends up at the tent cabin, we’d wake up in the morning to find coyote poo on the deck. Which is certainly a coyote way of disrespecting you and your little dogs, too. One morning, one of them strolled by down the path in front of the cabin. The dogs were going crazy but were too scared to leave the cabin. The coyote just looked at us disdainfully, sniffed the air and walked on. He certainly had no reason to fear terriers as he was the size of a young German Shepherd with a full and glossy coat. Clearly the Master of His Domain.

Just the other day, John the Baptist and Louis showed up to cut brush and saw two adults and two or three youngsters skulking in the bushes outside the barn. The coyotes retreated into the brush, but didn’t run away when they saw John and Louis, who reported that these were also coyotes of the fat and sassy persuasion. I know I might feel differently when we have horses, but right now, we’re being overrun by gophers and moles since the rattlesnakes moved on. So coyotes are welcome here. The buffet is laid out.

And speaking of the least welcome little varmints, at the top of the list put whatever is eating up my poor haricot verts before they can even sprout. Judging from the location and quality of the fox poo around here, I’d say the foxes have moved on to the vineyard — which is fine because they aren’t tall enough to grab many grapes. But some little critters are stalking my garden.

Here are my poor little sprouts chewed to the nubbins. This is my second planting. The first was completely chewed, uprooted and destroyed.

Here's what I hope is critter-proof netting that I'm praying will protect the third planting.

The next tactic is to post a sign that says: “All You Can Eat Buffet, Coyotes Eat FREE!”

Meanwhile in other vineyard news, we may be picking and crushing the Cinsault as early as tomorrow!