garfieldHaving hit a milestone birthday, I’ve suddenly decided to get a full overhaul. That means all the tests you are supposed to have done and never get around to. Just had a full physical, booked for the colonoscopy, got a referral to a dermatologist to have all the moles checked, Friday get the full blood panel for cholestrol, liver function, thyroid, etc.

So far only one surprise. When I was weighed and measured at my physical, the assistant called out “Five Three and a Half.” Wait a minute. I’m exactly Five Two.

I made her meaure me again. She came up with Five Three and a Half. I made her do it again. Same result.

“Is there any way this machine isn’t calibrated right?”

“Nope”, she said. “But just exactly when was your height last measured?”

Had to think a while on that one.

And now that I thought about it, it seems the last time my height was really measured was sometime back at the end of high school or at my college entrance physical. I came up matching the old song from the 20s “Five foot two, eyes of blue.” Guess I just stuck with it.

Thinking back, I can’t remember my height’s ever been measured since. At various points, I’ve just been asked for my height, said “Five Foot Two” and that’s how it’s showed up on driver’s licenses, passports, etc. ever since.

“So is it possible I grew an inch and a half since late high school or freshman year in college?” I asked.

“Certainly. Happens a lot.”

So there you go. I’m Five Three and a Half. Maybe I was once even Five Four and shrunk a bit.

So that changes everything. Especially all the height and weight charts I’ve been going by.

Puts me in mind of the old Garfield cartoon where he’s standing on the scale looking at a height and weight chart. The caption reads:

“I’m not overweight. I’m just undertall.”

Well, not any more!