I live with an Englishman. So there is a daily quota of pork products that must be consumed. When in doubt about feeding an Englishman, just make sure sausages are part of the mix. Not namby-pamby “Seafood and Mango” sausages, but the good old fashioned fruit of the pig. If you want to go one better, include bacon. Bacon-wrapped sausages are the Gold Standard. (You laugh but I was served these at my mother-in-law’s Sunday dinner once.)

Like a crack addict who’s too far gone to save, Andy will never be weaned off of pork products. But I’m always looking for creative ways to incorporate pork in very small amounts. My theory is that small maintenance doses will ultimately be better than a massive Henry VIII style pork feed.

It was on one of these trolling expeditions that I came across this Masterpiece of Porkitude.

It's the Turbaconducken! A bacon-wrapped Turducken.

It’s the Turbaconducken! A bacon-wrapped Turducken.

Remember a Turducken is chicken stuffed in a duck then stuffed in a turkey. Now, attend to this: the Turbaconducken wraps ALL THREE OF THESE IN BACON. Can you imagine how many pounds of bacon went into this recipe?

Recipe? Yes, there is a recipe. Concocted by the Chief Baconographer for this website:

Can you believe there is a site called "Bacon Today"? Englishmen are swooning everywhere.

Can you believe there is a site called “Bacon Today”? Englishmen are swooning everywhere.

 

Can you see that today’s featured article is how to make a bacon lampshade? That would be a real hit at a Pub Party. How about a bacon-wrapped iPhone? See this and more in all its greasy, cholesterol-ladden glory at the Bacon Today website.

To think I laughed at my friend, Kat, when she featured Bacon Chocolate Cupcakes on her food blog.

The Bacon Today site might have started as a spoof. But I know many Englishmen who would bookmark this and consult it daily.

On that note, I’ll leave you with the wise words of Jim Gaffigan, who isn’t English but could be, based solely on his love of the salty, sweet pork treat. The thing he notes about bacon: to make other foods taste good, they wrap it in bacon.