One of my favorite bloggers, Charles G. Hill over at Dustbury.com, periodically does a post on the odd Google searches and key words that bring readers to his site. At the risk of being accused of one-ups-manship, I’m going to maintain that the Google searches and key words that lead here are even wilder. Yes, it’s a long and winding road to Left Coast Cowboys.

As long-time readers will know, the number one, undisputed, month after month top search result that gets people here: Ryan Lochte Naked.  I like to think this is a family-friendly blog. Dogs, farming, mild humor, a little travel, some Green Living advice. All of it PG. I did attend the Olympics last summer. I think I mentioned seeing Ryan Lochte. He was NOT naked. I didn’t imply that he was. But the hits started coming in. So I did follow up with a post entitled Ryan Lochte NAKED! And I did post some pictures. Ryan was in quite modest, full legged Speedos. The hits went through the roof.

But now there are new contenders. Some justified. Some way out from Left Field.

Many of the newer searches have to do with Richard Nixon. Yes, I recently wrote about a visit to the Nixon Library and Birthplace. No I can’t answer your existential questions on the topic:

why was nixon bad

was richard nixon liked

should richard nixon have a monument

richard nixon bastard?

 

Yes, I wrote about the steamy, hot-sauce doused series True Blood. No, I cant answer the question: How do Vampires have sex?

Yes, I wrote about the steamy, hot-sauce doused series “True Blood”. No, I can’t answer the question: How do Vampires have sex?

I can answer this query: what was nixon’s favorite restaurant. Easy. The Old Adobe in San Juan Capistrano. The above referenced post also covers a flying trip to The Crystal Cathedral. So I’ve got the answer to this query:

crystal cathedral restrooms

Go to the post. You’ll find the full scoop.

I’ll grudgingly acknowledge that photos of dogs and old men might have gotten you here somewhat logically. But my husband is hardly an “old man”. Understanding your British husband was a more on-point query. I feel your pain. Just keep reading. If I figure it out, I’ll pass it on.

Now,  I know I throw the word cowboy around a lot. It’s even in the title. I’ve also done a number of posts on cowboy songs and Country Western Singers. So I welcome all queries such as this:

top ten cowboy songs of all time

Best cowboy songs

sexy cowboy songs

songs to sing to a horse

But what about my site would lead you here from the query:

pix of cowboys having sex with horses

find cowboy sex partner

giddy-yap sex position

cowboy orgies

do cowboys like sex?

I’m sure there is a site that can answer all these questions. Just not this one. The only risque Google search I’ll cop to is:

Johnny Cash show no underwear

Yes, I wrote about that here. It wasn’t Johnny who dropped his drawers. But it was June who took care of the problem.

To end on a better note, I’m proud that after all my posts (like this one) making fun of my British husband and his countrymen for their strange eating habits, Left Coast Cowboys is the very first choice you see after this search:

Brits eat crap

Yeah. Sooner or later my audience will find me. The rest of you, especially those of you wanting sex with cowboys or horses, buzz off. The Interwebs may not know you are a dog. But, with my Secret Squirrel Reader Tracing Software, I know where you live, you cowboy-lovin’ sex-crazed maniacs. Don’t make me sic the terriers on you.

Addendum: As I was posting, these searches came in: I’m discontent with my life, pile of rusted deer heads, baptism frog small cakes, and this gem: what to do wife thinks husband is a pile of shit. Words fail.