nightclub-partyIt suddenly dawned on me that I’m leaving for Chicago and Blogher ’09 in a few days. It just about slipped my mind. Or maybe I’ve been blocking it out. Anyone who read my old blog will remember this post, Confessions of a Blogher Drop-out, where I talked about my mixed feelings about the conference. On the one hand, I found too much of the conference to be a giggly sorority party where the uncool kids tried to bump shoulders with the A-Listers in hopes that some of the magic would rub off. On the other hand, I got so much technical, programming and practical blogging information just from the sessions I attended on the first day, the cost of the conference was well worth it. But I did manage to piss off some A-Listers whose session I criticized as being not much more than a giggle-fest and virtually content-free. So I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be sitting at the Kewl Table.

Will Pioneer Woman be my new BFF? We're EXACTLY the same. Except she has actual non-terrier animals on her ranch. And she's married to a cowboy, I'm married to an Englishman. She's on the prairie. I'm in Wine Country. But otherwise, TWINS.

Will Pioneer Woman be my new BFF? We’re EXACTLY the same. Except she has actual non-terrier animals on her ranch. And she’s married to a cowboy, I’m married to an Englishman. She’s on the prairie. I’m in Wine Country. But otherwise, TWINS.

What I’m going to be again is a fish out of water. Or a Blogger Who Defies the Categories. I’m not a Mommy Blogger, I’m not a Food Blogger, and I’m not really a Travel Blogger or a Photography Blogger, although I do feature travel and photography from time to time. I’m not a Political Blogger or a Humor Blogger, yet I do subject my readers to my political rantings and my attempts at humor on a semi-regular basis. Most of the sessions seem to be centered on those categories. With a big, big emphasis on Mommy Blogging. In fact, the parties and social events, at least last year, seemed to become some sort of “Mommy Bloggers Gone Wild” thing. These ladies do need to get more vacations if the somewhat desperate “girls out alone hi-jinks” are any indication. Not that I want to be a wet blanket or anything. But I want to meet and talk to some of the bloggers I read. Not necessarily get hammered and throw up in the bathroom with them. But maybe that stuff never really happened and the various blogger escapades I read about were just “blogging license.” I’ll be the first to admit that we bloggers do exaggerate for effect.

So what sessions will I be going to? After all, there are dozens. The choice, for me, is easy. Eliminate the Mommy Blogging Sessions and those five remaining are mine. Especially the session called:  LifeBlogging Outside the Lines: When you’re not a Geek, a Political Wonk or a MommyBlogger. Exactly.

This is how Tina Brown will look when she discovers I'm at Blogher, too. The BFF she always knew she'd someday meet.

This is how Tina Brown will look when she discovers I’m at Blogher, too. The BFF she always knew she’d someday meet.

Oh, and the Tech Sessions which they are calling Geek Labs. I’m definitely hitting all the tech sessions. If you remember my hokey old Blogspot site and when it transitioned to this sleek WordPress wonder, you should be aware that I learned all about how to do it at Blogher.  I think I even have an “in” as it turns out one of the techies was on jury duty the same week I was and peeked over my shoulder as I wrote this post. In fact, at the last Blogher, I found that the techies really truly believed that no question was too dumb. And I asked more than my share of dumb questions. They were answered patiently, understandably and with enthusiasm. Yay, Geeks!

And yes, I’m going to have my Celebrity Moment. I’m attending The Pioneer Woman’s session: Enough About You…Who’s Reading You? ‘Cause if anyone knows about getting readers, it’s The Pioneer Woman. If you are one of the two people alive who doesn’t know her, her blog chronicles her transition from City Girl to Cowboy’s Wife. Now it’s the biggest catch-all with Cooking, Homeschooling, Photography, Home and Garden and other sections as well. She’s not really what I’d call a cook (most things taste good with a couple of sticks of butter and some bacon on it, which seems to be the core of her recipes.) She’s not really a typical rancher’s wife as her husband is a multi-millionaire. But boy, can she sell the dream. She’s the Martha Stewart of the Prairie. Her fans don’t just want to cook her recipes or pick up her photography tips, they want to be her. As a consequence, she’s the only blogger who’s a serious threat to Dooce. And all without a single dirty word or discussion of gross bodily functions. Gotta admire that and you gotta hear what she has to say.

Don’t even get me started on Tina Brown, revitalizer of Vanity Fair and founder of The Daily Beast. She’s the key note speaker and I’d travel all the way to Chicago just to see her. The only better choice for Key Note? Rachel Maddow!

So anyway, if anyone else is going to Blogher, look for me. I’ll be the one skulking around in the non-Mommy Blogging sessions, asking dumb questions in the Geek Labs and not vomiting in the Sheraton bathrooms.

Then again, maybe I could give Pioneer Woman some dog maintenance tips. After all, I never backed the car over one of my canines as she did her Basset Hound, Charlie. Just not sure I could build a blog brand out of that dubious skill. Especially since that talent may be more about the fact that I have faster dogs.