appetizer at bossy dinnerIf you’ve been paying attention to the cool bloggers, you’ll have heard that one of the funniest ladies on the InterWebs rolled into town on her (No) Book Tour. That would be a tour to promote a book she didn’t write featuring get-togethers in selected cities for the non-signing of said non-book. But what is really amazing about this feat of not writing a book is that BOSSY has managed to talk large corporate sponsors — like Ford, Burger King, Seattle’s Best Coffee and Atlantic Records — into sponsoring this whole drive around America. Ford even gave her a new Fusion for the adventure, which she promptly named Harrison. And did I mention this is the SECOND sponsored roadtrip around America BOSSY has made? While I’ve always had the suspicion on this blogging thing that I was (in caps) DOING IT ALL WRONG, clearly now I know I am. Here I’ve been blogging because I love to write, and this back-to-the-land adventure is too funny not to share, but mostly because it saves me having to repeat my stories endlessly.

BOSSY’s been chowing down on her sponsor’s Breakfast Sandwiches for weeks now and she’s still model slim and looking sharp in faux animal prints.

But BOSSY, and the über bloggers I met at the dinner in Palo Alto are clearly doing it right. As in getting paid for it — either in money or swag or enough opening and launch parties to exhaust even Lindsey Lohan. Heck, I wrote a glowing review of the NatureMill Home Composter (which is still getting dozens of hits a week, thank you very much!) and they didn’t even send me a free upgrade when they released the XE Series. (Really, are there that many bloggers writing about home composters that they can afford to pass up this resource?)

These are some bloggers who are DOING IT RIGHT. I believe all are from the Clever Girls Collective.

BOSSY and the other bloggers are also massively present on Facebook and Twitter, which I’m still using sporadically and, again, probably wrong. Actually this blog Twitters (Tweets?) more than I do. It’s set up to automatically Tweet new posts. And my iPod keeps posting entries to Facebook every time I set a NikePlus goal or use it as a pedometer to track a power walk. Actually, I wish my iPod would stop Facebooking — or whatever it’s called. My times are embarrassing, and if I could figure out how to stop it from blabbing every detail to Facebook, I would. But I’m apparently not that tech savvy. Or my electronics are more effective at Social Media than I am.

Eventually, all the talk of Social Media savvy and Pop Culture references were making my head spin.

So I concentrated on Kristy Sammi’s baby, Eve. Until I found out the baby already has a Twitter @ handle!

But getting back to DOING IT RIGHT, I have got to get in on this sponsorship gig. My middle name is Road Trip. I am the Queen of Road Trips. I’ve driven across the US at least eight times — from East to West, North to South and once from Alaska to New York. Clearly, you need a gimmick. Like not writing a book. But I suspect that BOSSY’s real attraction to Corporate America is that she probably has a hundred times my readership. And most of her readership is probably made up of American consumers, unlike my heavily Eastern European readership.

But let me work on this gimmick that will make me sponsor-worthy. How about if I set off in search of America with a dog as my co-pilot?  Surely Purina and a pet-friendly motel chain like Best Western would be interested in that. Oh wait, John Steinbeck beat me to that — without a blog and without sponsors. How about if I load up Flame with cases of Two Terrier Vineyards’ finest and launch a Wine To The People Tour to educate American palates to the joys of real French style Rosé. Given the fact that some people are still surprised when they try our Rosé to learn that it isn’t sweet and isn’t made of Zinfandel (quel horreur!), there is much education to be done. Yet, I can’t see who would be interested in underwriting that. Surely not Gallo which is making a tidy sum in White Zinfandel and cheap blush wine. Hmmm. Must work on concept. And get up to speed on Social Media. And train one of the dogs to drive.

NOTE: I took a couple of bottles of Two Terrier Rosé down to the meet-up and was please at how it survived a 100 mile trek in a car without air conditioning and with a couple of terriers sitting on it.

(Photo by BOSSY) But I’ll tell you one thing BOSSY don’t know: you never age Rosé. Step away from the Hipstamatic App, BOSSY!