Okay, where is Samuel L. Jackson when you really need him? Because while the ultimate Hollywood badass is probably out sipping Champagne at some film premiere, I’m suddenly dealing with a scary snake invasion. I knew there were rattlers around here. The workmen used to find them all the time when they were starting to work on the barn. But after a while, the sounds of construction drove them away. And that fed into the mythology I’d always held to. That rattlesnakes hate you more than you hate them and will slither away when they first hear you coming rather than risk a confrontation. Well, apparently not all the snakes in Sonoma have gotten that memo.
It started with this guy, who is actually one of the good guys. A King Snake eats rodents AND rattlesnakes.
So this Crawlin’ King Snake was given a name. He’s Hooker.
And the dozens of Garter Snakes we see around? Harmless.
And kind of cute. In a snaky kind of way.
No, here’s where we’re having a problem:
We caught this rattler trying to sneak into the garage/workroom. Hey, no fair! I thought you were supposed to be afraid of noise.
Luckily, John the Baptist was there to scoop him up in a net and release him in an out of the way place.
Then I returned from a power walk and almost tripped over this guy. Twenty feet from the barn.
What are you doing so close to where terriers are yapping? Didn’t you get the Rattle Snake Code of Ethics memo?
Then there was this guy:
This barn ain’t big enough for you and me and some terriers!
Now the snake John set free had five rattles, making him five years old. These two characters above had no rattles and were relatively small. Baby rattlers. But don’t relax. I’m told those are the most dangerous kind. Adult rattlers can modify the amount of venom they release and generally give “warning” bites. The babies haven’t figured that modification thing out and give you full strength.
So when I saw this third snake — within just one hour — and it was the tiniest of them all, I got very worried. I armed myself with a shovel, hoping to scoop it up and take it far away. However, two curious terriers got into the mix. I managed to get Lucy on a leash, but Oscar was dancing around and wouldn’t let himself get caught.
Panic. Snake partially decapitated. Your Honor, I’m pleading unintentional manslaughter.
Up until now, I’ve been blithely stomping around through the tall grass in Tevas. Now I’m barricaded in the barn with the terriers wondering if we’ll ever come out. Worse than that, during the day, I leave all the doors open here. So what snakes have sneaked in? I’m running around poking long sticks under all the furniture. I’m reassessing that whole cooperation agreement I thought I had with the snakes around here.
And Samuel L. Jackson, call me. It’s not a plane, but I’ve got some work for you to do. And for good measure, can you come shout out that Bible verse from Pulp Fiction. Just so the snakes know we’re really serious.
Yikes – spring in the Sierras – or the valley. Always the same.
I wish I could be smug about being on the east coast – but seems we have our fair share of slithering menaces. *sigh*
EEEWWW! Scary snake business. Thinking good thoughts, wishing them away from Two Terrier territory. Don’t live in rattler land, mostly copperheads in these parts.
You better check the fine print on the agreement you have with that puma. Snake alive. I would be spooked. You’re one tough mama nailing that rattler. Are you collecting the skins and cooking the meat?
I do believe they will be recalling your liberal card at any time.
I should have saved the rattler skin for a hatband. But I let John bury it under a rock so the dogs wouldn’t get it. I was feeling too much Liberal guilt over killing it to think practically.
According to my dear wife who’s granddad feed her all sorts of goodies when she was young, they taste just like chicken. Good protein in a rattler so don’t feel guilty about killing a few, you will be able to eat organically, whilst decreasing the snake population of Two Terriers property.
Oh boy, my husband would be in heaven. He loves finding snakes as if he’s some sort of Jeff Corbin.
Until one crawled under his truck and freaked him out for weeks.
I wrote about that somewhere. Seriously, I was cheering the snake on from the sidelines.
Hope you enjoy your new boots. 🙂
We had a spring like that 15 years ago–the first one in this house. There must have been a rattler nest in the canyon and the babies were coming into our yard. It’s really scary when the 5-year old is the one to find it.
Dang woman, if you are still killing (er removing) snakes I am so very sorry. Here is hoping you have been able to move on to more pleasant tasks, such as spoiling a couple of terriers, practicing your Spanish, moving the kitchen along, fun stuff like that.
well, after having one next to my couch with me sitting on it without a care in the world-a baby one too-i don’t leave my doors open anymore either. and it’s damned hard too. 🙂
we don’t practice this catch and release thing because #1-husband is a rancher from way back and would think i had lost my mind and #2-i’m a chicken and want them ALL dead. i know they are great for rodents but so are lots of others, like the almighty gopher snake @ whose altar i daily worship. i have heard that if there’s lots of rattlers, the good snakes take off for greener pastures, so to speak.
glad you at least haven’t been bit. or the cute little dogs. i haven’t heard about the moderate bite routine but have heard the babies are the killers if you weigh about what i weigh. yikes…
as for my visitor, he put up a fight-they can leap about 3-4feet even if in a shovel/basket/net once coiled and probably not coiled. eventually husband got him out with the broom and cut his head off. then i worried for the whole summer last year. but the return of giant snakes of the good kind seem to indicate all is well…knock wood NOT in woodpile. told husband to stay out of the woodpile from now on too.
ok…carry on. 🙂