Sorry, it was not this Thanksgiving. Well, maybe this was one of the most excellent Thanksgivings for The People. But it fell way short from a terrier’s perspective. But there was one Thanksgiving. . .A Thanksgiving that will go down in Dog Oral History. A Thanksgiving that is discussed in dog parks wherever terriers meet. A Thanksgiving that gives all terriers hope for the future. A Thanksgiving that terriers across the nation pray will one day repeat itself. That was The Day When Gravy Rained Down From the Heavens. Terriers everywhere pray every year that it will happen again and happen in their houses.
Thanksgiving, of course, is always a time of terrier possibilities. Large pieces of meat are being roasted for long periods of time, filling the air with smells irresistible to a terrier nose. Many people gather, including people who may not be aware of the “Don’t Feed Dogs from the Table” rule. Children present particularly interesting possibilities. They seem always to be carrying food around or on themselves. And they are mostly small enough for jumpless terrier reach. They’re easy marks. A terrier doesn’t even have to jump up to snatch a bagel or piece of toast from one of these little creatures’ hands.
But for the most part, Thanksgiving is disappointing to terriers. A brined turkey is deemed too salty and spicy for dog digestive systems. So despite the best “pitiful terrier” looks, turkey scraps tend to stay up on counters out of terrier reach.
No, even the highest jumping terrier couldn’t get up on the counter where all the interesting stuff is. Which is a shame, because there were many times when people took their eyes off the turkey scraps to focus on strange desserts brought by a Scottish woman. To terriers, merengue and sherry trifle were very uninteresting.
While The People were ooohing and awwwwing over the desserts, an enterprising terrier — had the counters been a bit lower or a terrier leap been a bit higher — might have been able to score a turkey leg.
But on that Best Thanksgiving EVER, there was no need to distract or leap. Because that was The Day That Gravy Rained Down From The Heavens.
It all came about because The Owner is very ecoconscious and purchased gravy in biodegradable, compostable containers.
But the best thing about the gravy was that biodegradable, compostable container. You see, it wasn’t very strong and it was very squishy and flexible. So, when The Owner held it, a quick double pincer move by two terriers caused said Owner to lose her balance and squeeze the container as she grasped for the counter to keep her balance. A perfect volcanic eruption of gravy shot up into the air and poured down on two grateful terriers.
It was The Day That Gravy Rained Down From the Heavens.