I had an interesting exchange on Facebook today, which started when someone quoted Ashton Kutcher. Yeah, I know, Ashton Kutcher is as amusing to poke fun at as Gwyneth Paltrow. And I admit, I couldn’t resist. But aside from Ashton, it got me thinking about what I’ve always thought is one of the root problems here in the West — especially in light of the fact that the West is a place so many come to from other places. Stay with me here. But, first, that quote:
“The greatest natural resource in Iowa isn’t the corn, it’s the people…The people of Iowa have a genuine care, and a genuine compassion, and a genuine interest in making other people’s lives better, and that’s a value that you don’t get when you leave Iowa.”
I won’t argue with the first part: from my visits, Iowa does seem to have some nice people. But, of course, I couldn’t resist pointing out that the clueless buffoon who is Aston Kutcher is hardly the poster boy anyone should want for “Iowa niceness.” From blaming the pedophilia victims in the Jerry Sandusky scandal to showing profound disrespect at the funeral of a Rabbi by wearing his team hat to shaming his wife and her children with his very publicly conducted flings, I’m not seeing a lot of niceness here. Or at least not “niceness” that those of us outside of Iowa would recognize. But several people shot back with very Ashton Kutcher type responses:
“I absolutely agree about how genuine people are in Iowa. I remember driving around the gravel roads and every car we’d pass by, the driver would wave to us. And how someone would always pull over to help a person whose car broke down on the side of the road. You’d constantly see people go above and beyond, out of their way, to help others. Unless you’ve lived in Iowa, or stayed there for a period of time, you simply wouldn’t know.”
I’m all for boosterism. And I certainly practice that here on the subject of Sonoma, San Francisco and now San Jose. But that second attitude is one of my pet peeves. In fact, beyond a peeve, I think it’s responsible for many bad things we are facing today on all levels of our lives. People who can only praise their town, state, country, by putting down someone or someplace else or, even worse, declaring a complete monopoly in all the world on whatever feature they are claiming for their turf, are people who need to … well let’s just say they should get out more. Such people may go places and be tourists, but they sure aren’t travelers, if you define travelers as those who are insatiably curious about and profoundly respectful of the customs, people and geology of new places and open to learning new ways of doing things. Because really….REALLY…nobody in the whole wide world anywhere at any time has any understanding or history of helping or friendliness except for Iowans? Seriously? NOBODY? With that attitude, would you really recognize it if you saw “niceness” practiced by anyone outside of that state?
Again, I’m not here to knock Iowa or Iowans. But — and I’m not going far out on a limb here — after traveling the world extensively and living in several countries other than my own, I’d say that there is a lot of kindness, knowledge and goodness in all countries, states and cities. And when you aren’t blinded by the attitude of “well only in my [whatever] do we do things right”, you also see ways that other people and areas deal with situations and issues in ways that are different and maybe even better, or better for this particular environment, than what you are used to doing.
I’ll give you one example on the subject of niceness. On my second trip to Africa, Andy and I found ourselves walking through the largest urban slum in Africa with a group of former street kids. It’s a long story that has to do with a program Andy’s involved with where Silicon Valley CEOs mentor people trying to start enterprises for the social good in emerging economies. But anyway, here we are walking through Kibera — among people whose entire collection of possessions was probably less than we had in any one of our drawers back home. Yet, we were not harassed or intimidated or even stared at. We were met with nothing but smiles, waves, shouts of “Hello Muzungu” (White person), and finally with some of the best sales advice, I think I’ve ever heard. Let’s balance those scales. Being an Iowan with an operational car and perhaps an X-box and plenty of food and clothes who waves and stops to help someone with their car: good. Seeing someone with material wealth beyond your imagining walking through your slum, while you scratch out a subsistence living and stand ankle-deep in mud — and still being friendly and open and helpful: well, I think I’m going to give the latter a higher rating on the “niceness scale”. And I bet not a single person we met in Kibera had ever been to Iowa!
A paragon of niceness: the wonderfully wise Wangae of Nairobi.
Oh, I kid Iowa. And I do reiterate, there are some mighty fine people there. But there is also another side of the coin. When I lived in Tucson Arizona as a kid, there were two things I remember well: 1) Nobody had a yard. Even in the rich neighborhoods. People had cactus and yucca gardens, or gravel yards with sculptures either purchased or made from old mesquite wood. And 2) it was one of the most multicultural places I’ve ever lived. I went to school with Tohono O’odham, Apache, Navajo and Hispanic kids and kids from the Fundamentalist Mormon compound. The teachers were equally diverse. We all got along and we all showed up at each others’ festivals. So how did Arizona suddenly become this place of lush green lawns that boasts one of the most racist sets of public officials outside the Deep South of the 60s? Many sociologists attribute it to all those retirees from Iowa and other not so diverse states. They came to Arizona and brought all that Midwest “niceness”. But they also brought their predilection for Kentucky Bluegrass lawns and their discomfort with all those Brown people who’d been in Arizona since the 1500s (if you are talking about the Spanish) or since wayback if you count the Native Americans.
Former Tucson resident, Linda Ronstadt has spoken out many times about how she doesn’t even recognize — either ecologically or politically — the wonderful region of her birth:
“…I love the desert. I love those big, wide, sweeping vistas. During the time I was gone, developers came in and scraped it all away with bulldozers. They put up the ugliest tract houses you’ve ever seen, which aren’t built to last. They’ll be tomorrow’s slums because people won’t be able to live in those houses very long. They’re starting another Dust Bowl era by scraping away the topsoil. People don’t realize how serious that is. The Dust Bowl was the biggest natural cataclysm of the 20th century, and it’s starting again and no one’s taking an interest in it. They just continue to scrape off the topsoil and turn the desert into a wasteland.”
When they aren’t scraping away the topsoil, newcomers are madly planting lush lawns and non-native plants to the point that Arizona — which used to be a haven for people with allergies — now has one of the most noxious pollen counts of anywhere.
Is it a stretch to think true “niceness” should go beyond waving and helping a person whose car has broken down and perhaps extend to learning about, respecting and preserving the customs, first residents and ecology of an area? Maybe respecting incredibly scarce resources, like water in a desert environment, and not using it wastefully would be the pinnacle of niceness. Perhaps this starts with dropping extreme attitudes like Kutcher’s that certain virtues are completely unknown outside the boundaries of one’s own state. (And I would posit to Kutcher that he is welcome to go back where he came from — although, until lately, he’s seemed too enamored of partying with various starlets. Something he perhaps can’t do in the suburbs of Dubuque.)
The ecology of the West is fragile and has a special beauty. If you can’t — or won’t — learn to love it and respect it, don’t come here. Because otherwise, it’s a safe bet you are going to be instrumental in destroying it.
Well, you knew I’d get it back to ecology. And here goes. As I noted in the post where I discussed taking out my lawn, perhaps part of the reason we are in the water crisis we’re in is that so many transplants to the West have come here, but never bothered to learn about this fragile semi-arid region and have never tried to find it beautiful. So please, people, as The Beach Boys said, “Be True to Your School”. Keep your regional pride. But also keep an open mind. Especially if you come to a new area. No region has a monopoly on anything — be it know-how or niceness. (Well, except for Vermont and maple syrup. I’m simply not ready to admit that any other state has better maple syrup.) But many places have ways of doing things — evolved through centuries of culture and living within a certain environment — that are more appropriate for a specific place. It might be hard to discern them if you are closed off in your own bubble of exclusivity.
Imagine if all those “nice” Midwestern people who came here had embraced and learned about and respected the unique ecology and cultures of the West? Imagine how nice that would be.
As John Lennon said: “Imagine”.
So Ashton Kutcher, don’t tell me people from your state have a monopoly on “a genuine care, genuine compassion, and a genuine interest in making other people’s lives better”. I’ve seen your new house. And until you show some basic knowledge of and respect for the ecology of California, don’t give me your sanctimonious crap. Because using fifteen thousand times the water you should be in the desert of LA is not making any of our lives better. And we’re not feeling the “genuine care and the genuine compassion.” WE. ARE. JUST. NOT. FEELING. THE. LOVE. Talk to me when you’ve ripped out those acres of lush bushes and grasses in favor of a native plant xeroscape. In fact, I know some guys who can help you.
Oh My God Yes. Thanks for this post, Lisa. I am so with you on this.
As the great Mark Twain said: “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the Earth all one’s lifetime.” As true, or truer now, even in the jet age, as it was over a century ago.
I think you took this to a level of complete craziness. You must walk through life hating just about everything. One small comment, where someone seemed to be proud of where they came from, and dig this deep? LOL. I feel sorry for you.
Hmmm. John, perhaps it’s time to work on the old reading comprehension. As my post repeats several times, regional pride is wonderful. The issue is when the only way you can celebrate that pride is to negate any value in any other area — or make ridiculous claims that only one specific area has a complete monopoly on a certain virtue. Because of course, no one state is the only place on earth where niceness, or any other virtue, exists — but apparently, according to Mr. Kutcher, niceness completely stops at the state line. And to say that no one could even understand niceness or any other virtue if they hadn’t lived in a specific state? Well, what a ridiculous statement. But also a sad attitude. Because it shows someone who is blind to the beauties, virtues and uniqueness of another place. Which is my larger point: the West is a wonderful special place. But it isn’t easy. There isn’t the rolling lush greenness so many associate with beauty. The flora is astonishingly beautiful. But the flowers tend to be small and intense in color rather than large, flowery and showy. The artist Georgia O’Keefe understood this, which is why she made huge scale paintings of very small desert flowers. Because otherwise, she said, “people simply wouldn’t see. They haven’t the time.” So again, wave your regional pride flag proudly. But learn to be a person who is open to and can see the beauty and equivalent value in other areas. Because only if people who come here learn to love the West, will they be willing to protect it. Only if we learn about and celebrate the wonderful qualities of other people — rather than closing off and declaring that only “our people” are the best — will we come together. Try reading the post again and see if you don’t see the larger issues that were its core.
And John, as to taking one comment and digging deep, that’s what writers do. Some small remark that others might pass over, they pick up, examine, look for the larger implications, riff on it, see where it connects and what larger meaning or context it has…
In almost any writer interview, authors talk about how one little comment or thought or glimpsed interaction started them on the course of a full essay or novel or series.
If you don’t like to see this happen, don’t read this blog. Or don’t read at all. Because those pesky writers do this stuff all the time…
I woulda saved the Dubuque line to close. Or Muscatine, either one. Both Linda Ronstadt and Sir Paul have ranches outside Tucson and Sir Paul is just as concerned about what’s going on with the ecology of the region. See, that’s what happens when you get around, to quote the Beach Boys, you know the dif between a farm in Scotland and the climate and ecology there and a ranch in Arizona. There more ways than one to be knowledgeable and that leads to developing kindness on a multi dimensional level, not on the Ashton level….
Linda has sold her Tucson ranch because she said she just couldn’t bear watching the ecological and social destruction of the state she was born and raised in. She’s retired to San Francisco. And Phil, why are we both quoting The Beach Boys?
I still kinda left reading that as if ya did just a wee bit of what you said at the beginning of your post you weren’t doing, “…I’m not here to knock Iowa or Iowans. But…” And then you do just that. Not to mention, blaming “Midwesterners” as the single cause of the idiotic decisions made by developers (for the most part) when creating housing on a grand scale “out west”. I’m sure there was a concerted effort to “appeal to people’s sense of familiarity and home”, but hey — how about taking an opportunity for a little education, people? Nah. And lush greenery is not just a peculiarity native to the Midwest. Take a look at the Northeast, the Northwest, and even the MidAtlantic states…oh, and the Bible Belt and the Deep South and SemiTropical zones in Florida and elsewhere. What’s up with the anti-Iowa and anti-Midwestern thing?
You write merrily on, making an invidious comparison between Iowans and people in Kiberia. “Being an Iowan with an operational car and perhaps an X-box and plenty of food and clothes who waves and stops to help someone with their car: good.” Now, how do YOU know that about “Iowans?” Ever been to a farm auction? Define “plenty of food” and “plenty of clothes.” Most Iowans I know are quite frugal. Farm AId, anyone? Unless of course you’re talking to someone from Monsanto…Certainly, one should not paint an entire state filled with individuals with the same broad brush. Have you seen the larders of all Iowans? And how is any of that relevant to just being a nice person? Ah. I see. Niceness is RELATIVE.
And then, you reveal your pronouncement: “…I think I’m going to give the latter a higher rating on the “niceness scale”.
Wow! There is a relativity scale of niceitude. Someone’s niceness is nicer than someone else’s niceness.
Thank you for presenting your thoughts about who deserves to be ranked as nicer and why they deserve the “Nicer Niceness” title over others. I prefer to be thankful for all people who are nice — no matter where they live, or where they are from, or what their circumstances might be presumed to be.
Niceness is…nice. The world can certainly use a lot more of it, wherever it comes from!
PS I am a native Midwesterner (ahem) and long-time xenoscaper who has lived in/owned a home in Florida for the last 45 years. Landscaping goes well beyond just what one plants. It’s also about active management of water — rain water, run-off, storm drainage, fertilizers and pesticides in water, organic materials/cuttings that find their way into waterways and so many things that negatively impact the environment. Cultivating landscaping that not only is native and uses little or no water, but actually filters water to the adventage of the environment is also a great contribution one can make as an en
vironmentally savvy gardener. Have fun!
PS Oh yes. One last point. Ashton is a jackass. The manure he spreads everywhere he goes would make for great natural fertilizer somewhere…
Pam,
1) Why do I call out Iowans specifically? Because I was refuting the two people who specifically held up Iowa as the only place where a certain level of niceness could be found. If it had been Nebraskans making those clueless, and borderline offensive comments, I would have called them out.
2) Surely you know that citing an example to refute a ridiculous assertion (that niceness cannot be found outside of Iowa) does NOT mean that I share that original assertion.
3) And Irony Alert, it was Kutcher and the other commenter who put forward the theory that there is a Niceness Scale and only Iowa is at the top of that scale. So, I gave a counter example using their posited “Niceness Scale”.
4) In fact, I am going to have to insist that anyone commenting actually reads the post first. And looks up irony in the dictionary. Because there can be nothing more ironic than an Iowan declaring how nice Iowans are by negating any notion that anyone from any other state or area can be genuine, kind and nice. Because such assertions are so not nice!
5. No Midwesterners weren’t the only emigrants to Arizona — but they were most of them. Northeasterners seeking warmer retirement climes tended to go to Florida, Southerners tend to stay put. My uncle who lived in Omaha and his wife who was Iowan told us for years how they were bombarded by television, direct mail and direct call ads urging them to buy into gated ARizona retirement communities featuring pools, golf courses and artificial lakes. These communities were designed and heavily marketed specifically to the taste of Midwesterners. Very successfully. My uncle always joked that they may have to retire to ARizona because everyone they ever knew was. Yes, the developers bear some blame for this. But many of those developers were big Midwestern companies who came in state. And just because a horrendously water wasting development exists doesn’t mean you have to buy into it.
6) Finally, congratulations on being a Midwestern transplant who xeroscapes and does low water planting. Sadly, you can see by the clip below, you are in the distinct minority.
This shocking photo of a Phoenix suburb (by Vincent Laforet for National Geographic) says it all.
Karen Ramirez, Ph.D. from Renaissance Media on Vimeo.
1. Yes, I understand the device, however eventually it didn’t read like one.
2. Of course. I was responding to the written word.
3. Indeed.
4. Understood. I did not want to call further attention to the embarrassing fact that this heinous individual hails from Iowa, where my father, and his entire family farmed for four generations after they made their way west from farms in Pennsylvania, after they made their way WAY west from Scotland and England and Germany. I spent lots of my childhood and beyond in Iowa and Missour-a (some of us slipped over the border.)
5. If they’re coming to Florida, Northeasterners flee the Northeast for the east coast of Florida, while Midwesterners seem to end up for the most part on the west coast of Florida. Yes, there is some cross-over, but this is a fairly distinctive divide.
5b. Exactly my point, note reference to opportunity for education as in “learn about the place you are going to, how it’s different from where you’ve been and go local, people.”
6. You need not tell me, it’s all too apparent everywhere you go down here…I see the same thing you are experiencing. It inspired my changeover. It was impossible to find someone to help me with the xenoscaping…no one wanted to do it. And even worse, we had 4-5 years of serious draught (the latest, anyway) in 2008-2013 and I was absolutely gobsmacked to see my neighbors paying to have water trucks — water trucks! — come to their houses twice a week to spray water on their yards with a giant fire hose. The first time I saw it I had to go out and ask what it was and what they were doing. I had never heard or seen such a thing. Water trucks. OMG.
You have just outlined my worst nightmare: water trucks. I definitely see that coming in California. People in more affluent areas of the state are simply not giving up their lawns. I certainly expect to see a parade of water trucks winding up to Beverly Hills, Los Altos, Atherton and other artificially green belts. Hell, given the tenacity with which people in my neighborhood are clinging to their lawns and Hawaiian plantings, I expect to see them here!